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Joke of the Day

"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it's there to stab potential taco thieves."

"[NSFW] I was walking home when I heard a homeless guy yell .. I was walking home when I heard a drunk homeless guy yell -"" You motherfucker , your daughter is your sister"""

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house.... I said Decepticons... She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed I shot the toaster we all had a good time."

"If you ever travel to Italy, you have to try their famous food called ""Pasta,"" which I believe is Italian for ""Pizza."""

"There's two types of people in this world: those who finish their sentences,"

"How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house."

"Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem."

"ALL THE JADED LADIES all the jaded ladies ALL THE JADED LADIES all the jaded ladies"

"Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in ""I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."""

"what was was the last thing that went through the fly's mind when he hit the windshield? His butt"