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Joke of the Day

"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."

"What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common? Both of them smoke the leafs"

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"*pulls away from kissing, stares intently into his eyes Your eyes are like pools of melted chocolate Him: U started your diet, didn't u"

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."""

"After sex, I pee like a pro basketball player! Lots of dribbling."

"I had a weird dream I was eating a hairy lollipop. Woke up this morning and my wifes head was covered in slobber."

"What does a Muslim redneck wear? A murka"

"My friend and I were talking yesterday and he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, ""Sometimes, why?""."

"What did the spanish soccer announcer invest in? **GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**"