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Joke of the Day

"I am a janitor... They call me Dwayne ""The Smock"" Johnson."

"HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free."

"Have you heard that China's panda project is disastrously failing? All of the pandas are dying of pneumonia. It's causing pandaneumonium."

"A girlfriend is like a good joke. If I told you I had one, you'd probably laugh."

"Did you know that 1 in every doll, in every doll, in every doll, in every doll are Russian?"

"What did the buddhist monk say when he was asked if he was leaving? Na 'ma stay. (namaste) Grandfather joke at Easter dinner last sunday. Sorry."

"*Attempts to give a Homeless guy change* Him: Thanks. You never know, one day my situation might be you. Me: Really? *holds on to change*"

"Why do women fake orgasms? because they think men care."

"*Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks."