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Joke of the Day

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Hey, wanna go ride bikes?"

"[Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something after it's triggered."

"What did the Italian chef say when asked, ""How do make these triangular meatballs taste so good?"" *stereotypical Italian accent* I sauce-a these"

"Religions are like farts... Everyone likes their own but thinks all the others stink."

"""I want to get drunk in public."" ""Me too but on pancake batter."" ""If only there was a way to solve both problems."" -The Origin of Eggnog"

"Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know."

"Did you hear about the word that's changed in the dictionary? It means to make or become different."

"Trump/Pence 2016! Or ""TP"" as I like to call it. ;)"

"At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I d ever seen."