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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the word that's changed in the dictionary? It means to make or become different."

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"I had the shingles on my house redone, and the contractor lied to me about his pricing. I was expecting it to be done for free; he said it was going to be on the house."
"[at funeral] ""it was so sudden"" really? ""yeah right in the middle of rap battle"" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right"
"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""
"Parent: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture."
"9/10 people think that mobbing at work is okay..."
"I couldn't afford a vacation in Mexico, so I watched the Spanish channel all day and ate some undercooked chicken."
"I fed the cows marijuana. The steaks have never been higher."
"What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?.. They go Bar Hopping!..."
"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes a groan-up."