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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the word that's changed in the dictionary? It means to make or become different."

"I had the shingles on my house redone, and the contractor lied to me about his pricing. I was expecting it to be done for free; he said it was going to be on the house."

"[at funeral] ""it was so sudden"" really? ""yeah right in the middle of rap battle"" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right"

"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""

"Parent: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture."

"9/10 people think that mobbing at work is okay..."

"I couldn't afford a vacation in Mexico, so I watched the Spanish channel all day and ate some undercooked chicken."

"I fed the cows marijuana. The steaks have never been higher."

"What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?.. They go Bar Hopping!..."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes a groan-up."