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Joke of the Day

"They say in life expect the unexpected'. So I did, and f*ck all happened. I wasn't expecting that."

"Why is Islam so unethical towards its employees Ironically, it's all about prophets"

"I'm so sick of employers asking me what I'm doing in the next four years It's not like I have 2020 vision"

"Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher? Because he was Haydn."

"Pussy. That's it. Don't get it? No worries, me either."

"Why did the polish spy fail in his mission to blow up Hitlers car. He kept burning his lips on the muffler."

"So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%"

"[texting] -have a good day You two! *to Ugh *tpp Arghh *yoo DAMMIT *two shit *TOO YOU TOO There! :) -please stop texting me Ha! You two!"

"Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition."

"ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me"