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Joke of the Day

"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"

"Ordering at McDonald's & the cashier asked if my child wanted a Happy Meal. I explained the toxicity of equating consumerism with happiness."

"2 Mexicans got into a fight It was a Juan on Juan"

"I'm confused. Hi Confused. I'm a dad joke."

"Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage? He had cold feet."

"Texts friend: sorry, I'm running late. Friend: no problem, let me know when you're on your way. [ 6 weeks later] Ok I've left."

"It's a doge eat doge world out there. Such cutthroat. Very survival of the fitter"

"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they're eating this luscious grass."

"One alternative to having kids is to hire two people to sit in your car and start a loud argument every time your favorite song comes on."

"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."