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Joke of the Day

"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they're eating this luscious grass."

"Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with."

"[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there"

"What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with? ""None of your beeswax!"""

"Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They got through over 40 stories in seconds."

"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."

"Punctuation Let's eat Grandpa Let's eat, Grandpa. Correct punctuation can save a person's life ."

"I think airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide on your birthday."

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for fresh prints"

"He fucked his dad When mom found out she wanted to join. She wanted to do some kinky things with urination ""Pee on our boy"" The son didn't want to Oedipus"