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Joke of the Day

"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."

"What's Dracula's favorite beer? Bloodweiser"

"I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It's a once in a lifetime experience."

"What's the simplest way to prevent rape? Consent."

"s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic"

"I've got my ion you, baby!"

"What'd the Mexican say when he was upset? I don't want to taco bout it."

"Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite ...because all the others could not be positively identified."

"What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? Help! My pocket's been picked!"

"Just been fined 500 for having a joint in my greenhouse. I guess people in glass houses shouldn't get stoned."