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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*"

"Now that it's all blown over, those Alton Towers victims should look on the bright side. Free parking."

"Why Jared Leto should win an osvar for Suicide Squad. *spoilers Not ONCE did his Joker mention that he's a vegan."

"I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said ""Sank you."" Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?"

"Why won't bankers go to the opera? Because they quickly lose interest"

"4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9"

"What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to ""Children in Need""."

"A koala is sitting in a bar.. I chopped him up and put him in there. I couldn't make him fit as a whole."

"What bone will a dog never eat a trombone"

"How do you catch a dyslexic fish? Ya get it Hooked on Phonics!"