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Joke of the Day

"I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said ""Sank you."" Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?"

"""My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, ""You're the third one this week"""

"I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual. I easily get in touch with my inner self."

"Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband? Wife: he gives me no privacy Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true"

"What's the difference between a hobo crack addict and a millionaire crack addict? 99 dollars."

"The blonde couldn't add Question: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? Answer: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"What's the definition of a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't."

"My professor asked me to define narcissism I said ""It's the belief you are as perfect and infallible as I am."""

"When dancing and multiple girls yell ""this is my song!"" they should have to fight to the death to see whose it really is."

"The phrase, ""Don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate"