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Joke of the Day

"4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9"

"I would post a Casey Anthony joke... But my mom would kill me."

"Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness I said, ""Hey man I didn't even see the accident"""

"They say acid is a gateway drug.. But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!"

"What's a mass in your body that is really helpful? A cyst!"

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

"If I had a cool name like AL Gore, I would make horror films."

"the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO"

"I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!"

"What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma"