157571

Joke of the Day

"Why Jared Leto should win an osvar for Suicide Squad. *spoilers Not ONCE did his Joker mention that he's a vegan."

"Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free."

"Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar."

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down'."

"Why you never mess with imported ants? Because they are **important**."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into his office wearing nothing but saran wrap? I can clearly see you're nuts."

"Did you know our brains are 75% fat? Thinking about putting mine on a diet."

"Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I drink some beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver."

"What do you get when you cross a horse, an elephant, and a rhino? Helephino."

"Clean sheet day!! *brushes Pringles crumbs over to his side of the bed*"