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Joke of the Day

"It would be funny if after making love to Jennifer Lawrence she stood up & fired 50 or 60 arrows into my sweaty body."

"You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. ""A Game of Phones"""

"What's the difference between acne and a child molester? Acne waits till you are 13 to come on your face."

"Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It went O.K."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned."

"Sadly, I had to quit my job as a taxi driver... I just couldn't stand everyone talking behind my back."

"How many beer trucks can you ""accidentally"" run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?"

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this..."

"A man goes to the doctor He says he has been having dreams where one night, he is a teepee, and the other night he is a wigwam. Doctor says: ""That's an easy one, you're too tense!"" (Two tents)"