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Joke of the Day

"Last night I had a nightmare that Ann Coulter died and came back to haunt me... ...she was a coultergeist"

"PWND! FIRST!!"

"Newspapers The paperboy didn't deliver my newspaper this morning, so I snuck next door and took the neighbours. In hindsight, kidnapping might have been a little excessive"

"You all know any good masturbation jokes? C'mon, I bet we can crank some out."

"Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax? ... ... To stop Hispanic attacks."

"Mathematician Problems What do mathematicians do when they are constipated? They work it out with a pencil."

"I tried to give myself a sex change... but I couldn't really pull it off."

"Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved."

"What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night? Net fish and krill"

"One great thing about a cartoon avi is that I could be anything. I could be a 90-yo man. I could be a baby. HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M NOT A BABY!"