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Joke of the Day

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?? In case he got a hole in one"

"Sometimes I wonder if my wife ever heard me call her a dumb bitch. I think about it every day since she died from cancer. I never got to say it to her face."

"I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me."

"What's Bill Clintons favorite holiday? According to Lewinsky... Happy Employee Appreciation Day!"

"Roses are expensive... Violets are gay... Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day..."

"I'm really good at managing my credit card. My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."

"When Chumlee gets out of prison he should do a show with Jared from Subway. They should call it... Child Pawn."

"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."

"Ah St Patrick's Day I better eat some Irish food *pours self bowl of Lucky Charms*"

"Cashier at McDonalds said ""See you later"" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch."