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Joke of the Day
"Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses."
Next Joke
"My boyfriend calls me ""babe"" because ""pig in the city"" is such a mouthful to say."
"5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now... That's a perfect vision joke."
"What is green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.."
"[Girl over my house] ""My ex boyfriend had this weird one-man-band thing. You dont, right?"" [Unclipping my harmonica holder] Def not."
"With trump being a potential candidate I feel like the Simpsons are sitting on their couch watching an episode of us"
"I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues."
"Liam Neeson's wife asks him to do some household chores Taken: Out the Garbage"
"purposely bought tall lace up boots so I'll never have to be anywhere on time again"