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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend calls me ""babe"" because ""pig in the city"" is such a mouthful to say."

"The little old woman who lived in a shoe... ...wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached."

"I've been trying to give myself a sexchange... but I just can't pull it off."

"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""

"What did the existential pig say? What ham I?"

"What's the mating call of a sorority girl? O My GOd! I am so drunk."

"Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy? Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)"

"Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel."

"My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife."

"I ran into my ex husband the other day. I could have sworn the light was green."