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Joke of the Day

"I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues."

"What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle? I got my ion you."

"[Drive-thru] CRONUS: Yes- I'll have the bucket of popcorn children Intercom: *crackling* Popcorn chicken, sir? CRONUS: omg what did I say"

"You couldn't kill Sean Bean if he was wearing a red shirt."

"What happens when you combine bleach and a girl dog? You get a basic bitch"

"An alligator can grow up to 17 feet. But most only have four."

"What did God say to Noah? ""Make a backup, I need to re-format this."""

"Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with? Because they pikachu"

"Don't listen to anything your ex boyfriend says. He is always wrong. Unless he says you're spectacular and give good head, then, he is right"

"Twitter should have "" Throwing tomato"" button."