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Joke of the Day

"My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime... I haven't heard from him since."

"Wanna hear something ironic? Aliens abduct a fisherman"

"My wife always bitches about me not putting the toilet seat back down So now I just piss in the sink."

"A broom and a mop have sex. What happens next? The broom gets sweepy."

"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"

"What does the Jewish Bruce Wayne drive? The Shabbat-Mobile."

"Well if we're doing pirate jokes, here's one a classmate dropped on us: What's a pirate's favorite movie about the Iranian Hostage Crisis? Arrrrrrrrrgo."

"I prefer science to religion, as the former doesn't seem to grow vengeful and jealous when refused attention."

"The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media."

"This is what I told my nephew when he said he wanted to be a videogame journalist when he grew up The only thing worse than a job in video games or journalism is a job in videogame journalism"