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Joke of the Day
"The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media."
Next Joke
"Lif is too short."
"[having sex] Me: Oh ya you like that? Her: Deeper! Me: [baritone voice] OH YA YOU LIKE THAT?"
"What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do? Mine is distract me from my own mortality"
"what do you call a boring burrito? aburrido"
"Me: I don't know how to ride a horse Whiskey: Yes you do"
"A man waiting for a heart transplant... ... says ""I only want the heart of a dead lawyer."" ""Why?"" asks the doctor. ""I want one that's never been used."""
"Do you know what indefinitely means? Well, if you're nuts are slapping against her ass, then you're in........ definitely"
"Which U.S Presidents are not buried inside the United States? Carter, the Bushes, Clinton, and Barry-O"
"This is embarrassing but I just noticed that I've been wearing ""2006"" New Year's Eve glasses for the past decade. :("