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Joke of the Day

"Now a Days never ask a ... Never ask: ... A Woman Her Age.! . > > . A Man his Salary.!!! . . . ANd Now a days.... A students , His Percentage... . Its hurts source: http://www.newgags.com"

"A lot of people think your quarter life crisis starts at 25 but actually your whole life can be a crisis."

"General: Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy? Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir."

"Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread"

"To make a long story short, just walk away once you're bored."

"Lets be honest Oscar Pistorius will never set foot in a prison"

"Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off? Ferguson!"

"[leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? ""Oh wow, how embarrassing"" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*"

"I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight."

"14-year old Becky writes ""Stop wars"" as her Facebook status. It gets nine ""likes"", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it."