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Joke of the Day

"I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight."

"Wanna hear a joke about a German sausage? Nevermind, it's my wurst joke"

"tried to drown my sorrows, but after three days, mother-in-law floated back to the shore."

"*Ahem, ahem* So... A needle pulling thread... "

"Did you hear about the guy that got trampled by the triplets? He's six feet under now."

"I visited my boyfriend in prison the other day for a conjugal visit. It was a guilty pleasure."

"My 8 year old brother's best joke. What animal will you always see at a resturant? A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic."

"I spilled skittles down my pants. Do you want to taste the rainbow? #badpickuplines"

"Two horses are standing in a field. ""I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"" Says the first. ""Moo!"" says the second"

"Being illiterate and having a girlfriend would be easy. They'd be like ""did you get my text?"" and you could just be like ""I can't read."""