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Joke of the Day

"The best feeling in the world is realizing that you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed."

"What's white and 12 inches long? Absolutely nothing."

"What's the difference between a gay man's moustache and a straight man's moustache? The smell."

"They say god dosn't give people things they can't handle. Except cancer."

"16: ""What was the internet like in the old days?"" Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*"

"Sleep is like my love life, I ain't getting any"

"Whitney Houston is 3 Years sober! Wow! Never thought it would happen"

"[Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. ""You ordered a Grande."" Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. ""Sir, please just take her."""

"I had a really big shit the other day. It was a real pain in the ass."

"What kind of modeling clay does a dog use? Fi-Do!"