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Joke of the Day

"High heels are just regular heels that live in Colorado Haha we make jokes on here to try to keep the enveloping darkness at bay"

"I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches."

"A feminist once told me that there are no documented cases of ""bra burning"" in history that's just herstory"

"""I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself."" Drunks and 1 year olds."

"I don't understand all of this Chris Brown hype. After all his music isn't even that good, his only decent hit was Rihanna."

"What the mothers against drunk driving aren't counting on is my innate ability to run people over while sober."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who know binary, and those who don't."

"""Moo."" - hipster sheep"

"Do you know the difference between a fart and a pun? A pun is a shift of wit."

"My wife and I swapped biscuits. I guess you could say we switched rolls."