216761

Joke of the Day

"If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars.. I still wouldn't give a shit."

"I saw a sign yesterday that said ""watch for children"" I thought it was a good trade"

"What do you call a bear in the Arctic? Starving."

"Five years ago I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged."

"If your Uncle Jack was on an Elephant.... Would you help your Uncle Jack off the Elephant?"

"No I don't think you're stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking"

"Every time you make a typo the errorists win."

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand hexadecimal, F the rest."

"Did you hear the one about the shrimp throwing a fit? He was just being tempuramental."