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Joke of the Day

"If your Uncle Jack was on an Elephant.... Would you help your Uncle Jack off the Elephant?"

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks having sex? Relative humidity!"

"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."

"Saw a coworker washing a banana in the sink and wondering what she did with it."

"What's a sick persons favourite rhythm game? Catarrh Hero"

"90s Kids won't get this............ Social Security Benefits."

"Pedophile Kids who are scared of pedophiles really need to grow up."

"She's marrying HIM?! TODAY?! *cut to me sprinting across town to stop the wedding but I see a good dog at the park and pet him instead*"

"Sex. Don't get it? good, you never will."

"Did you know that your local graveyard doesn't allow anyone who lives where you are to be buried there.... ....As they need to be dead first"