139774

Joke of the Day

"Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged."

"If I had a time machine I'd go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the shit out of people with an electric toothbrush."

"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"Luke Skywalker and Yoda are on a ride when... **Luke**: *Are we on the right course, Master Yoda?*. **Yoda**: *Off course we are*."

"When Trump was a kid wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up... ...but all he was able to accomplish was the first syllable."

"Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you."

"I ordered the chick on page 3 in the Victoria's Secret catalog... But all they sent me was her underwear."

"I can't believe I just stopped a girl from being rapped. I got tired and stopped chasing her."

"I once met an Indian bloke in Birmingham and his name was Naan. He wasn't born here, but he was bread."