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Joke of the Day
"What's Homer Simpsons favourite toy? Bart."
Next Joke
"How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who gives a cluck? (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible?)"
"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."
"*opens camera app on phone* *35 cats scurry under the couch*"
"bear walks into a bar A bear walks into a bar and takes a bite. bear: beer please. barman: sorry, you're on drugs. Please leave bear: I'm not on drugs barman: what about that barbiturate"
"Why do Televisions have buttons? because they cant have zippers"
"How long does it take to tune a double bass? Nobody knows."
"12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?"
"Did you see the preview for the movie about premature ejaculation? It's coming soon."
"Hostage or not, sometimes it's just nice to be held."