2857
Joke of the Day
"Spent most of my early twenties trying to open a pistachio."
Next Joke
"Contrary to obvious physics, you can't attach a ceiling fan to your back and fly away like a helicopter."
"Would a cosplay of the Hunchback of Notre Dame be called... ... a quasi-Quasimodo?"
"I went door-to-door today telling my neighbors I'm a registered sex offender so they'll keep their damn kids out of my yard."
"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"
"Mom: I think I'll name her Jenny. Dr: I'm sorry, that name is already taken, but you can name her jenny_2828"
"Why did the blonde run with her bike? Because it was going to fast for her to get on."
"Got head from a Midget last night... I guess you could say I was blown out of proportion..."
"How does a frog fasten two objects together? Rivets."
"My mate Dave drowned... For his funeral, we got a wreath in the shape of a life saver. It's what he would've wanted."