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Joke of the Day

"It's ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days I know he's a priest but he's not going to do anything out in public"

Next Joke
 
"9 out of every 3 people suffer from math illiteracy."
"Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?"
"How does Alfred call batman for dinner? Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman!"
"Sees 40+ notifications. Starts to wonder if I accidentally uploaded a nude."
"What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math."
"If you're ever cold go stand in a corner... ...and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
"I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job. He asked which 3 companies were interested. I said gas, electric, and cable."
"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic? Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog"
"Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road? To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget."