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Joke of the Day

"As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!"

"How much does the average gay man ejaculate? I don't know but I hear it's an assload."

"What do you call an Indian man standing on one leg? Balan Singh."

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"What are two doctors with colds An ironic Paradox."

"in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone"

"Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants? Because they shared genes!"

"My girlfriend broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a weird thing to fallout 4. I know this is a repost but I just hoped this would blow up."

"If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool."

"It would have been really ironic if Andy Dick's parents had named him Hugh."