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Joke of the Day

"As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!"

"I hurt my neck sleeping on a pillow that was too fluffy. My body is not meant for this world."

"i have a very frustrated pet at home... its a turtle that loves to chase cars"

"What's the main cause for pedophilia? sexy children"

"what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapuss... thanks dad."

"What's the rate at which racist work is done? Whitepower (Horsepower is the rate at which work is done)"

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... But I already told it."

"My name is Leon but some of you know me by my street name, 9th avenue."

"The best thing about being a woman is having two stress balls attached to your chest."

"I just finished a whole stick chap stick without losing it or replacing it. In case any of you women want to know how faithful I am."