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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? Because it was two tired."
Next Joke
"When a rapper gets beer, how much do they get? A Two Pack"
"""Hello, Time Warner? I need to speak with someone about setting up local Gotham cable in a secret prison. Yes, I'll hold."" - Bane"
"Everyone around me keeps telling me I'm mean. Which is absurd. Plus, they're ugly."
"My girlfriend let out a huge sigh during sex then I had to tape back the hole I punctured in her"
"The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry."
"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? They pushed two twins together to make a king."
"Want to hear a construction joke? It's not finished yet."
"A woman just asked me if I'd like to help fight bigotry today but she was holding a clipboard so I said no."
"A bunch of kids took their mom's sisters to an EDM festival. It was all aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts..."