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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of kids took their mom's sisters to an EDM festival. It was all aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts..."

"Idea: ATM that sends you encouraging messages like ""You Can Do it"" or ""Ramen Noodles Aren't So Bad"" when you check your sad Account Balance"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? DO IT YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MAN!"

"Do you know how you piss off a bunch of people at once? http://www.redditstatic.com/reddit500.png"

"One day, you wake up and everyone has a number over their heads. The number is counting down by the second. Eventually, someone's number reaches zero, and.... They sneeze. Their number resets."

"Why couldn't Christopher Reeve pay his landlord? Back rent."

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"

"I Farted... I farted infront of my Jewish friend and he got offended, i shrugged and said ""what? A little gas never killed anyone"""

"[gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway"

"How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management? They hold a runoff election."