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Joke of the Day

"My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time."

"How do you turn a duck into a blues singer? Leave it out in the sun until its Bill Withers"

"My wife is breaking up with me because of my masturbation addiction... Boy do I feel like a big jerk."

"I bought a universal remote today. I was disappointed to find out that it does not, in fact, control the universe. Not even remotely."

"how many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, and nine to stand around and say how they did it at their old job...."

"Some morbid baby jokes What's scarier then ten babies in one jar? A: One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container? A: blend it."

"A man walks into an eye doctor and asks to see the doctor... The nurse replies, ""Not with that eye!"""

"Why did the monkey trip over the branch? Because the Chimp-Can't -See"

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It isn't hard"