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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into an eye doctor and asks to see the doctor... The nurse replies, ""Not with that eye!"""

"What did the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted snow flakes. My 4.5 y/o son came up with this joke, but his punch line was ""snow flakes"". I added the ""frosted"". Teamwork."

"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"

"Arrhythmia, blocked arteries, leaky valves, ""Hey, I found you on Twitter"" and other things that will suddenly stop your heart."

"Don't care about baseball, but I love apple pie. Can I still be an American?"

"My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome."

"What's the difference between driving in fog and eating pussy? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you"

"A guitarist was sent to jail for fingering a minor"

"Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"I'm worried, about that one cute sweet innocent girl who keeps liking my fb post."