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Joke of the Day

"A couple is lying in bed. The husband says, ""I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.""The wife replies,... ...""I'll miss you."""

"Alcohol is never the answer...... Unless the question is, ""What is C2H5OH?"""

"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? 'cause she's a woman!"

"I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first."

"A great excuse for being late is ""I don't know how to tell time"""

"Mean Insults, Good Comebacks, Insulting Quotes - Itchyflight.com http://www.itchyflight.com/mean-insults-and-comebacks-good.html"

"They didn't leave much room for new models when they called it the 'ULTRA-Sound'. ""Mr Sutherland, I'll book you in for a Sonic-Boom"""

"Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet."

"Vaccinated kids will get this... Autism."

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!"