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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!"

"A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. ""Hey kid"" he shouted. ""Why don't you go outside and play?"""

"There are ten types of people in this world Those who understand binary and.. wait, shit"

"Roses are red... Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't"

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"I'd like to personally invite Conan to bring his entire show to Nebraska. We can work out details later."

"Years ago I used to do a lot of drag racing... ...buy I kept tripping in those high heels"

"9-1-1 what's ur emergency ""well i guess it's that one of my friends changed all of my contacts' phone numbers to 9-1-1."""

"Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!"

"Being a parent means enthusiastically clapping for a lot of mediocre stuff. It's like being a Coldplay fan."