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Joke of the Day

"They didn't leave much room for new models when they called it the 'ULTRA-Sound'. ""Mr Sutherland, I'll book you in for a Sonic-Boom"""

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a scottish shepard? One says "" Hey you get off my cloud"", and the other says ""Hey McCloud get off my ewe!"""

"If Anderson Cooper shows up in your country you're fucked. He's pretty much the Angel of Death."

"Round, heavy object they throw at the olympics. Discuss."

"""What is the difference between a black pinnochio and a white pinnochio."" The black pinnochio's nose grows wider when he lies."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We are efficient, and lack humor."

"Self Pleasure Joke NSFW You ever whack off so much your hand pretends to be asleep?"

"Who busted you out of Iraq? Well actually, I-ran"

"Wearing Your Wedding! A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

"'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.' 'Woody?' 'Not quite that excited.'"