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Joke of the Day
"Knock, knock..."
Next Joke
"Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7."
"""OH NO PYTHON whew just my nose. OH NO COBRA nope still my nose. OH NO RATTLESNAKE shit, nose. God I can't live like this."" -Elephant"
"Me: Treat yo self My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF"
"Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out."
"If someone tells you he has a centrifuge on a submarine, don't believe him! It's a subterfuge..."
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is not a full essay!!!"
"Being a Calculator must be a huge responsibility... everyone is counting on them."
"What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs? Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas."
"Why do Jews hate sex? Because porkin isn't kosher."