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Joke of the Day
"How to always be positive in life: | life |"
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"How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Frat boys don't screw in lightbulbs; they screw in puddles of vomit."
"If you put your ear up to a vagina... you can smell the ocean."
"Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, ""I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"""
"Yo momma's so dense, she got a job at NASA... ..bending light."
"Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss."
"My girlfriend said she won't miss the iPhone headphone jack as much as everyone. Said she goes to bed to another miniscule 3.5mm thing anyway."
"My friends and I were trying to decide which award winning drama TV show we should watch It came down to the wire."
"A blonde asks her brunette friend... ... ""Didn't you get an HIV test last week?"" ""Yeah, it came back negative"" answered the brunette The blonde responds ""Maybe you should study next time"""
"What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick? ""Just put it on my bill"""