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Joke of the Day

"This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it ""double bagged""...I said ""No, you're not THAT ugly..."" And that's why I'm not allowed in Target."

"The failure of my business confounds me. It just doesn't make cents."

"I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her naked."

"Christmas gift Mom walks to her son ""Johnny, what would you like for Christmas - a brother or a sister?"" she asks ""Well, I'd like a sled, but I don't know if your vagina can handle that."" he replies."

"Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person Fork"

"I told my dad I had diarrhea He said don't worry son it runs in your jeans"

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies? My erection."

"Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit."

"What do you get when you mix /r/pokemon and /r/gonewild? PP up"

"Sorry feminists... Why do doctors slap babies butts when they come out? To knock the balls off the dumb ones."