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Joke of the Day

"Love is a battlefield. And I fight naked."

"The Wicked Witch swings a light saber at Obi-Wan just as he throws a water balloon at her. All anyone finds later are piles of clothes."

"I like my coffee how I like my women... Not black."

"Didn't sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done."

"I hate girls with double standards unless they're pretty"

"If I had a dollar every time Trump said something stupid. I would have a small loan of a million dollars."

"What did the bishop say to the priest? It's my turn."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. For non-Americans, this is a baseball joke"

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout"

"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."