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Joke of the Day

"The U.S. military is like a drunk frat boy. If you really believe it's pulling out before something bad happens, joke's on you, buddy."

"Farted on my wallet... Now I have gas money."

"Did you know that papa johns was delivering to the twin towers on nine eleven? The order was for two large planes!"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had"

"What's 50 Cents name in Zimbabwe? 400 Million Dollars"

"Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he smacks her with a shovel."

"Whenever people say ""don't judge me"" I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear. *whispers* Judged you."

"I like my women how I like my drinks Soft and extra large."

"Reason why white people are afraid of being a minority. They know how minorities are treated in their country"

"What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ? Shredded Tweet !"