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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my drinks Soft and extra large."

"you can't please everybody. if you could, you'd probably be pansexual."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear"

"Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness"

"What's the difference between Toddlers & Tiaras and a scat fetish? One's fucking shit, and the other is a scat fetish. Just made it up, wondered how you guys thought it would be."

"[Dirty] Guy walks into a... A guy walks into a shop and asks if they have any parsley, the cashier answers ""No sir this is a porn shop"". The guy says ""Oh well, do you have any dill though?"""

"I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles."

"'You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!' -pimples."

"Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!' Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'"

"One milli-Helen: The amount of beauty required to launch a single ship."