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Joke of the Day

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had"

"Trying to think of something fun to do with the kids so I can Instagram it & look like a great dad."

"I just read a book about a girl who escapes from her parent's dispiriting home. It's a runaway best seller."

"why are black people so good at basketball because they can shoot steal and run!"

"Believe in yourself. Build a religion around yourself. Canonize your quotidian tasks. Build idols of yourself in your best outfits."

"Jared ended his career at Subway the same way he started it... (part 2) Enamored by 7 year old meat and buns."

"What is close to stupidity? Mexico and Canada"

"I don't understand why Taylor Swift has removed all of her music from streaming services You can stream Taylor Swift anytime you want just by turning on the radio"

"What goes great with noodles? COMPANY!"

"How do you stop Iran from building a nuclear reactor? Send them the Fine Brothers."