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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he smacks her with a shovel."

"I'm going to open a restaraunt called pantera bread It will be similar to panera bread, but the food we serve will be much heavier"

"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect."

"Dreamed I won the lottery last night - $35 on a scratch ticket. Clearly I have a rich fantasy life lately."

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"

"Girls are like Math problems If they are under 18 , it's better to do them in your head."

"deeply analyzing what you meant when you texted ""k"""

"The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want"

"Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong? Because the rest are weekdays."

"What do you get when you combined a baseball player with a metal alloy? A steel"