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Joke of the Day

"Who Found America Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."

"Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face? -me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks"

"What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted? Hey we have a toot in common."

"When does an Irish potato change nationality? When it's french fried."

"Saw the pictures of the Hooters girls who were fired due to weight discrimination? Now I'm in the mood for Wings, Muffin Tops & Camel Toes"

"If at first you don't succeed, you're probably assembling furniture from IKEA."

"How do we know Mayberry's Andy Taylor was a Redditor? He had sex with Opie's mom."

"What is the only thing on earth that goes ""ha ha"" on a Monday? A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday."

"If you don't wake up, eat & then go back to sleep, you're doing Sunday wrong."

"How can you tell if a tornado is stupid? -If it spins anti-cyclonically"