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Joke of the Day

"They say if you love something you should let it go... So why am I going to jail for leaving my kid in Walmart?"

"our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it"

"Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit One fly passes gas and the other looks at him, ""Come on man, I'm eating over here!"""

"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""

"I had to quit my job at the helium factory. No one talks to me like that."

"Life without internet is like a house without a bathroom... What are you supposed to do? Go outside n' shit?"

"What is the summit of trust? Receiving a blowjob from a cannibal"

"What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner ? Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner"

"How does a Jew make tea? Hebrews it. -- How does a Jew make beer? --Hebrews Hops"

"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar"