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Joke of the Day

"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."

"Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere."

"I turned into a cat earlier. Don't ask meow."

"I sexually identify as a Canadian... I'm eh-sexual."

"I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day, but I can't afford to move out yet."

"Two scientists walk into a bar... Two scientists walk into a bar. The first asks for H2O. The second asks for H2O, too. The second man dies."

"Two skeletons open up a pasta resteraunt to serve the afterlife. What's the resteraunt called? The Bone Zone."

"*aggressively keeps eye contact with attractive people to let them know I mean business*"

"How many questions did the politician answer? 9/11"

"Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs."